I find happiness in the mundane! We could all find it becasue that is where it lies!

Hello, Hello Hello
I have not written for awhile. I wanted to, but did not. Here is my entry about some musings.

I watch my son who is eight months now. He is quite amazing (I know of my bias). What is so much more amazing is how he truly enjoys every second of waking life. He is always present in the moment. He would never think of planning or scheduling. He is contently present. every object is so fascinating for him, every face, every place. He always looks at me with so much love. Keats is truly inspirational. I never realized how much I would enjoy spending time with a baby. Our time together is precious.

In general, the mother-child dyad is so beautiful. One of the greatest things I have ever seen. I have this screen saver of dozens of paintings of nursing mothers from all periods and different parts of the world. I can watch it for hours. The babies look so content and the mothers have this maternal warmth that I have never seen anywhere else.
I hope more mothers follow their hearts and ditch this new modern controlled and detached way of parenting. I hope we all are allowed to mother just like we are meant to do. we can learn a lot from babies, their unadulterated way of being here and not anywhere else. They are always willing to demand to be with you and protest any separation without fear from others judging  their independence. They know they need warmth,  comfort and proximity to their parent and they are not afraid to do anything to get that. we have trouble admiting our need to be have real intimacy and need to be interdependent but we sliently brave loneliness and isolation becasue we are afraid to be judged.

I am reading the book Original Wisdom and it is amazing! I love this book. I recommend it to everyone. It is about a psychologist who... to be continued soon.

The conquest of the earth, which mostly means the taking it away from those who have a different complexion or slightly flatter noses than ourselves, is not a pretty thing when you look into it too much. What redeems it is the idea only. An idea at the back of it; not a sentimental pretence but an idea; and an unselfish belief in the idea - something you can set up, and bow down before, and offer a sacrifice to.
                       By Joseph Conrad          

(I encountered this quote two times today, interesting coincidence)           

A note to reader: I am not talking about ALL aid work or workers nor am I contradicting a need for global justice.

I am still trying to grasp some ideas that have entered into my consciousness. A book by Alan Watts really changed me in many ways and many ways to come. I read it once, and I am waiting to read it again to better understand and maybe one more time. I had a very narrow way of processing the world not too long ago (a year ago). It was highly rationalistic and mechanistic. I realize that the fancies of many writers that I liked on a literal level but I dismissed are more true than all the "realistic" bullshit I have been indoctrinating myself with over the years. I am trying to understand the world with "features" instead of cause and effect. The world we have, say modernism has certain features that no matter how "controlled" they are hey will exist because it sf the nature of the system.

I am reading this book titled Road to Hell, it is about how foreign aid and charity (and even loan systems like micro-financing) has been detrimental. There is this sense of goodwill but it is combined with arrogance. This "I am here from a developed country to help you, backward people." It is another form of colonialism. There are certain premises that charities and aid groups and people operate on. The first is that the place they are in NEEDS help. Second: they assume that they come from places where things were better and a certain way; therefore the place that "needs help" should follow on the same or similar path as their own country(ies). ie. Modernize, accept western institutions. There are other assumptions, but I will not delve into them. The idea of progress is very Newtonian, Western or any other such connotation. Alan watts points out that in order to have a saint you need to have a sinner. In order to have aid workers, you need to have people who need aid. They cannot exist without the other. If they, the volunteers, aid workers, etc...did accomplish modernizing and developing these areas, what would it be like? Obese society, isolation, addiction to technology, cubicles, loss of environmental contact, etc... What about cultures such as horticultural based and pastoralist people who live in horticultural lifestyles may appear poor and underprivileged, but they are rich in many, more immeasurable ways and live full lives.. Just because there is a faster, time-saving way of doing something does not mean that that we should adopt it. This idea lies that in the assumption most things are "chores" and we do not like to do them. The Amish are a prime example who purposely SLOWED DOWN their way of live to enjoy it more. Their "work" is also their leisure whereas we would look at them as having horrible lives and all they do is "work."

Most places where the good-intentioned people of the industrialized countries have gone, they have destroyed it or exacerbated the negative aspects of culture. We have to get away from the idea of SAVIOR and SUPERIOR, because they are both intertwined. I learned of this duality. As a small-time activist I would not exist if the world did not consist of so many atrocities. Righteousness is addictive and is part of the "feature" of this modern world.
Albert Camus said: Don't walk in front of me; I may not follow. Don't walk behind me; I may not lead. Just walk beside me and be my friend.”

I am finding this to be the hardest part of life and a great blow to my inflated ego.

• My son, Keats, eveything he does, is, will do. His skin, his smile, his babbling, everything!
  
• My husband
• Memory of my Mom
• Protests and demonstrations
• Coffee
• Wit
• Grassroots efforts
• People power
• Kindness & Warmth
• Peace
• Books
• Poems
• Good Surprises
• Rain
• Being in the moment
• Slightly cool mornings
  
• Warm orange evenings
• Water in various forms such as ocean,lake,sea
• Helping hand
• Being understood
• Being outside
• Sleep
• A good story
• Music
• Flowers,
  
• My brother
• my childhood
• mountains
• valleys
• wild poppies that were eveywhere when I was a little girl
  

I'll keep adding over time when I remember and discover new things

I was just thinking of composing a poem and I was digging in my repertoire for material. I thought of Flamenco dancing and wanted to use it in a poem in way to express something is as beautiful and as strict as flamenco  choreography. Then I realized I only had faint notions of flamenco and using it would weaken my poem because I really did not have enough knowledge about and could be all wrong and make my poem indirectly inauthentic (at least the type of poem I wanted to write).  These ideas associated into other ideas and thoughts I have been exploring such as the decline of DEEP wisdom. I must define deep wisdom or knowledge as knowing something or someone deeply and vertically as opposed to a shallow scan. When I read poems, book or listen to some people talk about things, I can tell what kind of knowledge they have. For example, when I read Hemingway, I get the sense that he KNOWS bullfighting. When I read John Keats or even other romantics, I am left with no doubt that Keats has deep wisdom of mythology. In contrast, when I hear most people speak or most notably politicians, I don't think they know even one thing deeply but are trying to operate on general one to two sentence knowledge.
Even excluding trades and professions, people used to know things differently than they do now. They knew the area where they lived very well including their communities.  They knew what plants were local, what the temperatures were like, how many families or people were around, who was who. They knew how to cook, bake, etc... Others who studied whatever they studied had a profound understanding of it.
Many writers used this expertise in land, people, trade, skill, and other as guides for their books. They could write a book about a subject and detail the motions,ideas, feelings, the logistics of it all. It was never a fake or shallow knowing.  Of course there are many writers who are still the same, but the general populations has declined in the depth of knowledge. I don;t want to go after schools too much, but it seems that they want to teach kids, adults many "facts," or more frequently, factoids (meaning lies told enough times to pass of as fact) about many things and not fewer things better. We have a society obsessed with trivia-like knowledge. "You don't know something?" Look it up on Wikipedia, and many do that and feel smart and knowledgeable afterwords. The magazine "Mental Floss" advertises with "feel smart again." The magazine is filled with often useless facts. I am afraid that just won't do! There is more to most things then generalizations and overviews. Most things take time and effort to really form in your head. We have a society of Know-it-alls who do not know anything at all. Sterotypes are also encouraged by this easy shortcut to wisdom.My professor said once that you could cut a cake deeply and vertically or horizontally. when you cut the cake piece horizontally, you may get a wider piece but you will not be able to taste the real flavor of the whole cake assembled, which lies in the layers.
Knowledge is not a nicely packed information packet. Time and effort have to be devoted. In this age of globalization we have lost real wisdom and started valuing a facts-and-figures knowledge, which often is misunderstood  and misused because they lack the wisdom to connect all the info together.  That is something you can't easily "google."

My friend called and asked if I wanted to go see the Dalai Lama next week at the Centennial Olympic Park. I could actually go because it would be outside and free of charge. I had given birth three months prior so my traveling was extremely limited. The only other time I attempted to go to a public event was to hear a speaker in a tiny room while my one month old baby, Keats, was slumbering in my sling. I walked around for a half hour trying to get him to pass out before entering the room. This would be different; there would be thousands of people and it was outdoors. Still, traveling anywhere is challenging because he tends to be very sensitive and cries a lot. I considered going if we took public transportation. MARTA, as it is called, is maybe the most inefficient public transportation, but my son hates the car seat so it is the only viable option.

I forgot about the upcoming event until the day it was held. I woke up and it seemed really muggy outside. It was hot, humid and a grey fog seemed to settle around every object. We were afraid it may get cancelled and as we soon found out so was the Dalai Lama. I thought I was dressing for the occasion by wearing boots for the mud and wore long sleeves if it got cold but later regretted this terrible decision. I placed Keats in my highly colorful wrap and I was ready to make the trek.

My friend reluctantly agreed to take public transportation (she is more into convenience than adventure). As usual there were construction and train delays on the MARTA. She was complaining the entire way how long it took to get there. I, always, stick up for public transportation because though it is awful here in Atlanta, I am glad that it is still here. Now I think back about how the hour to hour and a half journey was so excruciating for her and how ironic it seems that we were going to see the Dalai Lama. Without even needing to mention one of the main teachings of Buddhism of being in the present, I could just point out the long rituals that were held before to get ready for the speech and after to conclude the ceremony. The monks, as it seems, like to take their time.

I loved that we had all that time to prepare us for the event. There should be more energy dedicated to the virtues of preparation and gradual flow from one part to another. Things seem so much better and fulfilling when one has the ability to transition properly to a mentally and physically demanding event. Plus for me, it is about the journey more than the destinations. Maybe MARTA’s inefficiency over the years taught me about patience and enjoying the present instead of always delaying pleasure for some time that you or others deem appropriate. (It reminds me of “quality time,” you know, how parents believe that a certain time allocated is enough for the child). I really enjoyed spending time with her in the trains and at the train tracks. (I also suggest everyone should ride public transportation with someone you want to get to know further). It was also great for my son because he loves movement and would have woken up and cried if we were in the car. There is nothing more horrendous than being stuck in a car for long periods going nowhere (Atlanta traffic is notorious) and then looking for a parking spot. The train was a welcoming experience for me.

            When we arrived to the park, we witnessed almost the entire lawn covered with people. It was so invigorating to see such an excellent turn out; I felt comradeship. His Holiness started speaking just as we got there; unfortunately, I missed the chants and dances. They did a Black Hat dance to welcome the New Year by cleansing the negativity and then it was followed by a multi-phonic chanting. It ended with the Snow Lion dance which is danced to show that friendship is possible amongst all beings. It was difficult to hear him due to the distance, the weather, and language capabilities, but I was later able to watch a recording to fill in the gaps. I heard the usual things that Dalai Lama would say about peace, and then all of a sudden he started talking about child rearing and mothers. My ears elevated even more and I tried desperately to imprint his every word to my memory (Theses last few months I have dedicated tremendous amount of energy not only to my son, who takes everything, but books on child rearing and related materials. I also try to squeeze in political and social books here and there). What I heard is that the Dalai Lama is advocating attachment parenting (also known as empathic parenting) as the legitimate way to peace. I wish the American Academy of Pediatricians were here!

            Dalai Lama began with comparing child rearing practices in humans and other living beings. He said how all have the capacity for anger, jealousy, and fighting just as well as compassion, affection, and tolerance. If one has warm heartedness and compassion, painful experiences come and go without leaving a deep wound. On the other hand, of one lack these same traits then even small adversity leaves a large negative imprint both physically and mentally. He stated that humans have the ability to show compassion and be compassionate unlike many other species. Our goal for a happy society is to decrease negativity and destructiveness and increase positivity and constructiveness. They are contradictory; therefore, positive emotions gain strength. He discussed preventative measures such as nurturing positive emotions such as compassion, affection and kindness from the start.  He says,

So now compassion, firstly the seed of compassion from birth, because the very nature we come from our mother our survival depends on others compassion and nurture. Not only human beings but others, our survival depends on others care.

 

He goes on to give examples;

Some animal like turtle and butterfly/moth although they come form their mother, their survival not depend on others care. Lay down egg and left. Survival is up to young turtles, BUT because of such nature I don’t think they do not have capacity to show affection. Turtle offspring and mother put together they could not show affection.... Human baby entirely depend on others care.

 

He goes on to state that biologically we are designed to show affection because we come from our mothers. The “Great Beings” that Buddhist mythology talks about emerging from the Lotus flower may have more ability for compassion than turtles, nothing more. We are fortunate enough to come from wombs and he says that compassion is something neither he nor anyone else learned from religion, society, or anything else but from his mother. This was probably one of the greatest insights I have ever had the privilege of hearing. I felt so empowered and revitalized as a mother. I am creating a human being in the sense that I am filling Keats up with compassion, affection and tenderness. Having a child AND mothering him is the most radical thing one can do. In existentialist philosophy it states that when one acts, one defines what it is to be human. When I mother and when others mother they are creating and demonstrating what kind of world they want to inhabit.

Those who do not know, the Dalai Lama is not only a spiritual leader but also a peace activist throughout the world. This is precisely the reason I went to see him speak, but I received much more.  In addition to his activism, when he spoke he exuded sweetness and gentleness. The Dalai Lama went on to describe in the kindest of words how wonderful his mother was to him and others. He never saw anything but compassion from her and this is why he is filled with compassion; even though he admits he is not extraordinary that everyone is born with ability for compassion. Then he links growing up with positivity, emotional and physical well-being as an adult.  He also warns of the dangers of growing up without compassion because those people are unable to develop well and are often frustrated and angry which leads them into bullying and violence. The greatest harm is that they are unable to feel for others suffering. I feel that this sociopathy is pandemic in our society.

He goes on to say that if we want a peaceful society then we must have inner peace which comes from the mother who nurtures us so we may be able to nurture others. He concludes that “we can transform our society into compassionate society because the seed is already there.” The seed is mothers. So he finally prescribes ancient wisdom: Mothers give your children maximum affection and care. Mothers practice love and compassion because that is your responsibility; after all he is only a monk and not a mother.

            Right about that time, my son woke up and I started nursing him in the sling. He was too excited about the thousands of people around him so he would rather have watched. I was astonished to see him not cry but intently listen and watch for twenty minutes or so. I missed the very end of the speech because he started getting squirmy and we walked around in that humidity where everything was sticking to me and dark overcast sky was barricading any fresh air to break through the smog. I was running around getting him to be content whilst people watched me. I wonder how many were able to connect me (mother) with the speech? Did they really understand when they went home or on their way there, they would reconsider not yelling at Suzy or not leaving their infant in a cold dreary car seat without touch for hours. I hope they did because I deepened my understanding. Mothering is the most important task anyone can have. We are raising our future and our society. Right now we live in a predominantly a turtle society, I hope mothering reclaims it!

There are many things that we can do right now that can benefit our environment and us (because we are a significant part of the environment). I think we do care about our future. I have a little more faith and maybe, foresight to think that humans are not just rational profit-maximizing species, but thoughtful beings who do and could take the future into account. The principle of rational theory lies on the belief that individual actions lie on maximizing the benefits received from that action. Of course, “realists” have come up with so many theories and games to demonstrate just that: notably, the Prisoner’s Dilemma.

Well, frankly my dears, we do not live in a vacuum! Nothing exists independently of this world. There are not only a trillion other influences on an individual’s choice but there is also the problem of misinformation. With that all said and done, here is the crown of my argument: The rational-choice theory is focused on the short-term and not on the long-term effects. If people were educated (that my friends, is our job), they would choose wisely for the future and not only on the immediate gratification. Thinking is human nature not profit-maximizing. That may be the nature of the short-sighted glutton!

            Because of this hyper-capitalism that has everyone running amok with hardly time to think, (there are an average of 3,000 messages a day thrown at an individual to buy something) it is our job (we,who have the luxury of time and information) to give the best information to the rest of the community and the world. We need to inform everyone of the choice they really have and not sell them something extraneous and harmful. We can do better than just informing and learning about petroleum in our gas stations and cars but by focusing, for example, on the fact that it is also found in plastic and rubber products as well.

We can turn the rational-choice theorists on their head when we confront them that yes, if people really knew what would maximize their benefits, they would choose trees, fresh air, healthy children, leisure, fair wages, fair treatment of humans around the world.  But, the forces of marketing and advertising got us all thinking that buying  an item for a dollar less (or sometimes wasting more money) is somehow better than having clean air, or healthy soil, or even better jobs and free time.

I, personally, think I would rather have a clean atmosphere and trees than buying ridiculous cheap crap from Wal-Mart that I really didn’t need. Instead of saving money on goods, why don’t we demand savings where it matters most such as housing, medical insurance, and education?

 Let’s face it, the problem with most American households is storage.  We have so much stuff that we keep buying other stuff to put it in. The garages are overrun, the attics are stuffed, and our closets are full. Why do we need so many things??? Are you happier with all your stuff? Or are you miserable trying to come up with ways to store and organize. The “I”t word of America is organize. Wouldn’t you want to have an easier time organizing with fewer items? Because, you know, it is easier and takes less time.

So everyone, I appeal to your sensibility. You could try to make some changes and we, and some of you, will do our part of finding reliable information and guidance to help you choose rationally about the future. Below are some suggestions.

If some of you do not understand or want to know more how some products contribute to pollution and other harmful effects, there are books, websites, organizations devoted to exposing the linkages. There are also great books by concerned human beings as to what actions we can take to minimize our damage to our environment. You could try to find them yourselves or email us and we will help you out.

            Seven things we can do right now to minimize damage and potentially save us some money:

1. Recycle and buy recycled items.
2. Drive less(save money, enjoy outdoors)
3. Turn off appliances, lights, water when not in use.
4. Eat less meat (In Brazil, they feed the animals better than the people just so we can have meat three times a day.)
5. Buy organic (it tastes better too)
6. Cut down on plastic/paper use. Use a mug at Starbucks, please!
7. Buy fewer things, but treat yourself with much fewer nicer things.

My purpose in life is to bridge, establish, and renovate compassionate communities in an ecologically sustainable way beginning with mothers and fathers parenting peacefully.

 I love peaceful and sustainable societies, most notable the egalitarian, resilient, ecologically attuned societies of hunter and gatherers or foragers. I hope to pursue my graduate studies in cultural anthropology with a focus on bands of hunter and gatherers amongst other similar societies in a variety of subsistence patterns. My other great focus is how parenting affects society at large. There is great research done on how mothers shape the societies they live in by their childcare. I hope to learn from my studies in ways to build and repair communities that will bring out the best in humans. I strongly believe that communal reciprocity, ecological understanding, and emotional ties are the source for the healthy continuation of our species and the environment. As I pursue my graduate studies I would like to continue to be an activist for breastfeeding, gentle childbirth, and nurturing parenting. I am also pursuing to be a lactation educator which will allow me to help mothers know more about the positive aspects of early infant bonding through breastfeeding.

     First and foremost I would never deprive my son and family my presence and companionship even when I am faced with Goliath-sized tasks. Nevertheless, I am going to do what I love even if I do not get paid, but I would love to be able to make a living doing what contributes most positively to me and others. I would love to be able to visit new parents and assist them in adjusting to their infant(s) as well as troubleshooting with breastfeeding, sleeping, and other various childcare demands. To give them emotional support and strengthen them in their adventures in parenting with emphasis on compassion, peace, and healthy attachment would be ideal. I desire to travel to countries with low breastfeeding rates where I would train and organize lactation consultants and educators within each community or city. Along with childcare activism, I would apply my knowledge and training in anthropology by focusing on activities that build community (eventually world) solidarity and harmony with the environment. There are various ways of doing this and currently I have some ideas but would benefit from learning and training. In my spare time, I would regularly present my collaborative work and research to the intellectual and professional community in hope of setting trends and propensities towards nonviolent human and nature interactions.